101 Questions: Shep

101 Questions You Should Be Able to Answer About Your Character

Answered by: Shep

1. What is your full name? Do you have a nickname?
Nathaniel Brian Shepherd... I go by Shep among the population at large and generally get Shepherd at work.

2. How old are you? When is your birthday?
34, and none of your damn business.  [July 30th. :'D]

3. Where were you born? Where do you live now? Are you patriotic?
Las Vegas, Nevada. Moved to Phoenix, Arizona at eighteen. And no, not particularly.

4. Who are/were your parents? (Names, occupations, personalities, etc.)
My mother was a substitute teacher for primary school named Diane; my father was an ex-military man called Brian. The former had incredible moodswings when it came to me and the latter was a hardass with a knack for coming up with creative punishments.

5. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?
None. I've been told that's somehow my fault. It makes me appreciate me even more.

6. What is your occupation?
Narcotics detective.

7. How tall are you? How much do you weigh?
Maybe a half inch over 6'0" and around 200-210 pounds last I checked.

8. What color is your hair? What color are your eyes?
Brown, and dark brown.

9. What is your race?
Caucasian.

10. To which social class do you belong?
Middle.

11. Do you consider yourself to be attractive? Do others?
I'm really not the best person to ask, here, because looks aren't something I tend to pay attention to (though I am superficial; it's a matter of pride), but I guess I'd fall around the realms of above average in that department. And yeah, I am half basing that opinion on the reception I get from others.

12. What is your style of dress?
Most often jeans, a plain white/blue/black (preferably) shirt and a deerskin overcoat. Looking neat is important. First impressions are everything, and ... I find every impression after that counts for something, too.

13. Do you have any scars? Tattoos? Birthmarks? Other unique physical features?
Three scars, on my back, my shoulder, and jaw, but they're not noticeable unless one gets close. Nothing else noteworthy.

14. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?
Allergic to ... some brands of carpet, it would seem.

15. Are you right- or left-handed?
Mostly, right-handed.

16. What does your voice sound like?
Deep, but not overly. Sort of crisp. I do my best to sound expressive but it doesn't come naturally; still, a monotone growl can have good effects.

17. What kind of vocabulary do you use?
I try to avoid excessive informal slang, but ... some things are hard to stifle when you're drunk.

18. List three quirks or other defining characteristics.
1. Took a culinary course in college for an easy credit, and ... showed a natural aptitude for cooking. Was top of the class, actually. And enjoyed it. I'm as surprised as you are.
2. Did quite a bit of horseback riding in high school while working for a stable that paid good money. Mostly this entailed trail riding by myself in the desert. I liked that, too.
3. My parents dumped me in a mental hospital when I was seventeen for a 48-hour observation. I didn't so much enjoy that. But they diagnosed me with Oppositional Defiant Disorder and let me go, and for the rest of the year I took a lot more care to keep my aggression under wraps.

19. How often do you bathe? Do you wear perfumes?
Bathe? I shower once a day at least (or, I did. Still try to find a way to keep clean). Sometimes wear mild cologne.

20. What kind of facial expression do you commonly wear (dour glare, wry smile, etc)?
Neutral, mostly. Again, facial expressions don't really come naturally... But by now I've got them down, mostly.

21. Do you use body language? How?
Now that I think about it ... I really don't. Not intentionally.

22. Do you have a commonly used saying?
Nah. Nothing comes to mind.

Childhood

23. What is your earliest memory?
The Mirage Resort and Casino. I don't know why we were staying there, I think one of my parents won the stay at another casino, but outside it had a massive pond and waterfall with palm trees, and when you never really encounter running water, these things sort of leave an impression. There were more interesting features inside, like the indoor rainforest and all, but the outside is what I remember best. I always especially liked casinos' water features after that. The Venetian was a favourite - it had a canal. I'd like to go back and see how decimated they are now.
[::dutifully dug up a pic:: *]

24. How much schooling have you had? Did you enjoy it?
High school and college/academy. I was good at both, but I definitely didn't enjoy high school. College was much easier on me.

25. Where did you learn most of your knowledge and skill?
Entirely through my career. Bear in mind that most of my skill goes toward serial killing. As a young killer-in-training I picked up some good tips from the more experienced.

26. How would you describe your childhood in general?
Stilted and inconsistent. If my mother wasn't making every effort to form some kind of connection with me, she was locking me in my bedroom so she could sit and take a breather alone, or smoke, or whatever. My father was absent a lot, but when he was home, he took over all the parenting in a much more rigid way. They fought a lot. They got fed up of a lot of the things I did but wouldn’t let me run away. Childhood was very ... confusing. Nothing made sense and everything seemed backward until I hit junior high and realized blending in and mimicking everyone else was my best bet.

27. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
An FBI agent. Interestingly enough I was later given the opportunity to join and turned it down. They say psychopaths make the best profilers, and I'm sure I’d have been great, but it didn't seem high-energy enough.

28. When and with whom was your first kiss?
In high school, I can't even remember who with.

29. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?
No, and with a girlfriend I dated for maybe four months in high school when I was sixteen.

30. Do you have a notorious or celebrated ancestor? Does that affect you?
I have a great-great somewhere down the line on my father's side who was an officer in the Civil War (for the North). Apart from that, no one of interest that I know of.

Influences

31. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?
Going to Phoenix. And every kill I make. Each one just brings on a greater sense of I-am-doing-this-and-getting-away-with-it.

32. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I guess making homicide detective before the age of twenty-five. (It's surprisingly more boring than narcotics.)

33. What is your greatest regret?
Not moving to Miami or Palm Beach after Phoenix.

34. What is the most embarrassing or shameful thing ever to happen to you?
I don't get embarrassed all that easily, but the mental hospital thing definitely burned, especially with neighbours tossing around rumours at school. I think the worst to fall into this category, though, would be having two of my bodies dug up in the desert. I went down to homicide just to scout the case out and they'd formed a profile and were searching for more bodies. You know that feeling you get when it seems like everyone's eyes are on you?

35. Do you have any secrets? If so, what are they?
The regret I didn't mention.

36. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?
...Haha, okay. Let me think about this one. It's not an easy one, because 'evil' isn't a word that is actively in my vocabulary; it's not something I consider often. Besides, my kills are personal and I don't talk about my methods with anyone. I do know that above raping, killing, torturing, and kidnapping, people tend to believe that killing a puppy tops all of that...
But I guess the torture would make top of the list. I won't go into any more detail except to say that my tools include but are not limited to an electric saw, a drill, a hunting knife and a date rape drug that immobilizes its victims but doesn't knock them out.

37. When was the time you were the most frightened?
I don't scare easy, but as far as anxieties go, I think those bodies top the list. When I get caught I'm going down in a blaze of glory, and I still had a lot more work to do at that point.

38. Have you ever travelled outside of your country? If so, to where?
Mexico, once or twice.


Beliefs

39. What is your alignment?
Sexually? I don't fall anywhere on the scale. (No genuine attraction to either sex.)

40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?
I'm a realist.

41. Do you believe in a god? If so, which one and why?
No. A god wouldn't make people like me.

42. Do you believe in an afterlife?
No. If there is one I guess I'm fucked. I swear in his name an awful lot.

43. What is your greatest fear?
Being caught. My one and only fear.

44. What makes you angry? Sad? Happy? Why?
I'm not set off all too easily in any direction. I have triggers that could one day send me into a fit of fury and the next day not even phase me. I don't think I've been sad in my life, though there were times I thought I should have been. And happy ... happy ... there's the post-crime high, I suppose. I guess I don't know what constitutes happy.

45. Do you think people are basically good or basically evil?
I think people are innately as 'evil' as I am. They're just better at burying it.

46. What are your views on politics? Religion? Sex?
I'm a right-winger on the political scale (yes, psychopaths do vote Republican) but I don't see how politics directly affect me. Religion is a bit pathetic, but I don't generally share this opinion. Sex: Boring. Unnecessary. Base, and even degrading. But if I can dig up a diamond in the rough now and then it can go from scraping tolerable to actually good, and I like the riskiness that comes with anonymous sex. I couldn't give it up anyway, much as I'd like that - it's such a damn big part of being a human, the whole sex obsession, and Rule #1 is Always Blend In. Besides, I'm just good at it. Why waste a natural talent?

47. What are your views on gambling, lying, theft, and killing?
Bring 'em on. I grew up in Vegas; how can you expect me not to gamble and be good at it? I had friends whose parents worked as dealers. Half the things that come out of my mouth are lies and falsities, often for no reason whatsoever. (Ask me what I did on the weekend and I'll throw out Typical Male Scenario #1-18. "I watched a game with the guys," why not.) Theft - well, really, the evidence locker is right there. And killing is great, in moderation. Real stress reliever.

48. How far will you go to defend your beliefs?
Not very far before I switch tack and assure the other party that they have indeed swayed me. A good tactic.

49. How much do you value money?
Quite a bit. I save up constantly.

50. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?
You might have expected me to scorn this one; actually, there are lines even I don't cross. I don't kill children. And I think the people who sexually abuse them are sicker in the head than I could ever presume to be. This might count as a moral, but I'm not sure - largely it's a great deal of disgust. There are more evil things a person could do, and I've surely dabbled in at least half, but fucking with kids is low.

51. Do you believe in self-sacrifice for the greater good?
No.

52. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?
No.

53. Are you superstitious?
No.

54. How much do you respect the beliefs and opinions of others?
I really don't. They're usually wrong.

55. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings?
Oh, boy. Absolutely never.

56. Do you have any biases or prejudices?
Certainly. Against the human population at large. Also spics.

Dealing With Others

57. Who is the most important person in your life, and why?
Myself. If I don't keep a vigilant watch on me constantly, I could tailspin hard and fast. You don't even know how tempting it is to kill more than just a few times a year.

58. Who is the person you respect the most? Despise the most? Why?
If I had to pick someone I respect, I'd have to say Morgan, my partner. She's the Scully to my Mulder, and as far as our work goes she's actually a match for me (the only person in the world who I'd say is in any aspect). But she's out of the picture post-war, and I guess her post would be filled by Philip. I don't think I despise anyone.

59. Do you have a significant other? Who?
Jess, but I don't have her anymore. So, if all the writing of late is anything to go by, I think that would be Philip.

60. Do you have a lot of friends? Who is your best friend?
And as goddamn sad as it is, Philip fills that post too. Otherwise, I have a few loose scatterings of people who'd call me a friend here and there. Friends are entertaining and good to have.

61. How do you relate to members of the same race? Class? Sex?
White middle-class males aren't so bad. They have some habits that put me off, but they're much easier to get along with than women.

62. How do you relate to members of a different race? Class? Sex?
Some races bother me because they're somehow more difficult to communicate with. And I've gotten into more than one considerable brawl with black men I only needed to question. But in spite of my prejudice, the spics aren't so bad. Being proficient in Spanish and having a few valuable Mexican informants helps. Rich people are good people to know. And women aren't that bad in small doses.

63. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.
No, but I beg to differ when the DSM-IV says I can't form attachments, if attachment means 'people I prefer alive to dead'. They're just not usually very long-lived attachments, that's all.

64. What do you look for in a potential lover?
Good looks and a good lay.

65. How close are you to your family?
We haven't spoken since I left Vegas sixteen years ago, as hard as my mother tries to get in touch.

66. Do you want a marriage, family, and/or children?
Sure. Surprised?

67. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?
Both. I do my best to gauge what the situation calls for.

68. Are you a listener or a talker?
A talker. I'm good at being a conversationalist. People like to listen to me. I don't really appreciate the other way around.

69. How long does it usually take for you to trust others?
I don't. Ever. Would you?

70. Do you hold grudges?
Nah. Why bother? I've never even made a revenge kill. See? I'm a very polite monster.

71. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?
I'm authoritative without trying, I guess it comes of feeling (being) superior, so people tend to listen to me. But I don't actively try. I know my place at work.

72. Do you like interacting with large groups of people?
Not a lot, but I definitely can.

73. How well do you express yourself?
Fucking abysmally when being honest, probably. Otherwise very articulate.

74. How quickly do you judge others?
Fast. First impressions.

75. Do you care what others think of you?
No.

76. Do you have any enemies? How or why are they your enemy?
I can't think of anybody. I do try not to step on too many toes. And I can give off just enough hostility that people try not to grate on me either.

Personal Taste and Opinions

77. What is your favorite pastime? Color? Food? Possession?
Pastime ... maybe binge-drinking, or getting fucked on multiple drugs - actually, both at the same time, is my preference. Colour would be brown. I like seafood. And my most cherished possession is my deerskin overcoat.

78. What are your preferences in arts and/or entertainment?
I don't really mind. TV works for me. And I have a soft spot for the very worst horror films too. (I'm ashamed to admit it but I may have stolen one or two ideas from movies. And I'm sorry to report that not everything transfers quite as well to reality.)

79. Do you smoke, drink, go whoring, or use drugs? Why or why not?
All of the above, frequently. I'm a chain smoker. I binge-drink every so often. I only go whoring when I need a bitch to fuck around with. I've tried every drug to come by the precinct and have a strong preference for heroin. But in spite of all this, I honestly don't have an addictive personality. I could stop all that ... except why bother? And giving up smoking would bother me. I'm told I have an oral fixation.

80. How do you spend a typical Saturday night?
Bar-trawling, at home. These days, having sex, often coercively, travelling, or taking it easy, like every other night. I get the feeling I'm the only one in the gang who can chill out at will.

81. What is your most cherished fantasy?
I don't have one.

82. How long is your attention span?
Not all that long. I get bored easy.

83. Do you laugh a lot? What do you find funny?
I don't laugh much. I like spontaneity, really witty quips that can take me by surprise (never on TV or anything, though, for some reason), or black humour. Sharing black humour makes me feel less like a fake, which can be relaxing. Constantly wearing a mask of sanity gets very wearying.

84. Is there anything that shocks or offends you? If so, what?
I'm just about impossible to shock. If you're up for a challenge...

85. How do you deal with stress?
I kill something. That's a terrible answer. I drink.

86. How much athletic ability do you have? Artistic?
Athletic ability is good. I’d play squash now and then, or tennis, usually with Morgan. Did soccer and riding in high school. And I work out all the damn time; like a lot of cops, I guess. Artistic, I'm not great. I used to sketch in high school and wasn't bad, but gave it up.

87. Do you like animals? Do you like children?
I like cats. And there've been a couple horses I liked, though by and large they're all dumb as bricks. Still, I don't dislike them. I don't really like any other animals. I don't like children either. But, as it were, I'm very good with them. Makes me popular with young single moms and their litters.

88. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?
Why can't a spontaneous idea be planned out within a minute?

89. What are your pet peeves?
Dog-walkers. Snow. Rain. Cold. Disorganization definitely tops the list.

Self-Image

90. What is your greatest strength as a person? Weakness?
I'd say the answer to both would be a very shallow grasp of emotions. I believed for a long time that they weren't even really real, not the way they're portrayed, but now it's kind of hard to ignore. I either feel very self-satisfied for never succumbing to sorrow or whatever, but then at times it's a little frustrating, when everyone around you is in a big brightly-coloured lit-up room while you're stuck listening at the door in the sepia-toned lobby.

91. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
This is lame. Once or twice in my life I've wished I had the capacity to experience love in some form. Otherwise, I'm good.

92. Are you generally introverted or extroverted?
The most socially adept introvert you'll ever encounter.

93. Do you like yourself?
Not hugely. Sometimes we get along. Sometimes we have our differences. There is a partition.

94. Do you have a daily routine? How do you feel if your day is interrupted?
It varies. I seem to plan things out as I go along. If the plans are disturbed I can get annoyed.

95. What goal do you most want to accomplish in the next six months? Your lifetime?
Nothing. What's the point in leaving a legacy behind anymore? Everybody's a killer these days, even Alex. Suddenly I'm less impressive, and it's not looking hopeful that I'll ever get a snappy moniker like the BTK Killer or the Boston Strangler. What can you do?

96. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?
Dead. I don't think very far into the future, but for five years I've just naturally assumed I would die by 39. Only before, I figured by suicide.

97. If you could choose, how would you want to die?
By my own hand. I'll be gone soon, society. Don’t worry.

98. What is the one thing you would like to be remembered for after your death?
That I was an American serial killer, and one of the worst, but who gives a damn anymore?

99. What three words would you use to best describe your personality?
Collected, calculating and callous.

100. What three words would others probably use to describe you?
Damn good cop. Unless you're asking the gang. Then I'm sure it would get more colourful.

101. Why are you risking your life to adventure?
Because I need risk. I need thrill. If I'm not gambling my life, my job, my reputation, anything, then it's hardly worth doing. Like eating rice with no adornments. When I risk my life, I almost feel alive. And for a long time now, I've lived only to look into the abyss.